Barefoot wanderers, nail-clippers and social media filmmakers are making life miserable in the skies, while on the ground the Bayeux Tapestry is breaking ticketing records and Dubai Airport is dreaming of a queue-free future. Our columnist surveys the travel world with a raised eyebrow and a wry smile.
Plane rude!
There was a time when boarding a plane meant sitting down, minding your own business and perhaps exchanging a polite nod with the person next to you. Apparently, that era has now taxied off into the sunset. New research from Booking.com suggests many passengers are treating the aircraft cabin as an extension of their living room. Two-thirds admit they behave no differently on a plane than they do at home. That certainly explains a lot.
The survey found the biggest irritations include people watching videos without headphones, bringing pungent food on board, filming videos for social media and sticking phones over your shoulder to capture the view from the window. Personally, if you’ve paid extra for a window seat, you shouldn’t have to appear as an uncredited extra in someone else’s social media masterpiece. Then there are the barefoot wanderers, aisle hoggers and, astonishingly, people carrying out in-flight manicures. Nail clipping at 30,000 feet? Really? What next? A spot of hedge trimming in Row 18?
Perhaps the most alarming finding is that 31% of passengers suffer in silence. Typical British behaviour. We won’t complain when it happens, but we’ll be furious about it for the next fortnight. As Laura Windsor, Booking.com’s etiquette expert, neatly puts it, a little self-awareness at 30,000 feet goes a long way. Sadly, it appears to be travelling in short supply. Perhaps more proactive cabin crew stamping their authority would be a positive thing to see…
I will not hold my breath.
The Bayeux Tapestry: worth the wait?
In a world where people won’t wait 30 seconds for a kettle to boil, it turns out some are prepared to sit in an online queue for nine hours to see a piece of embroidery.
Analysis by digital marketing agency Koozai found that demand for tickets to see the Bayeux Tapestry at the British Museum generated longer reported waits than Taylor Swift, Adele and the FIFA World Cup. Only Oasis and the British Grand Prix managed to keep people hanging around for longer. Nine hours! William the Conqueror probably captured England quicker.
Still, I can’t really blame them; The Bayeux Tapestry is one of history’s great treasures and it’s returning to Britain for the first time in nearly 1,000 years.
For GTOs worried about missing out, don’t panic. If tickets prove impossible to secure, I’d highly recommend organising a trip to France instead. The tapestry has spent the best part of 950 years there and, after its British Museum stint, it will be heading back home. Or there’s a full scale replica at Reading Museum. I know, just like the tapestry, my pearls of wisdom are priceless.
No queues, no humans, no problems?
According to a report in The Times, Dubai Airport is trialling technology that could allow passengers to walk through immigration and security without showing a passport or boarding pass. Cameras, artificial intelligence and biometric checks do all the work.
Now, reducing airport hassle is unquestionably a good thing. Nobody books a holiday because they enjoy standing in queues while frantically emptying pockets and removing belts. But forgive me if I’m not quite ready to trust technology with the entire process.
We’ve all encountered modern systems that don’t quite deliver such as self-checkouts, automated phone systems and facial recognition. Dubai Airport’s chief executive Paul Griffiths says: “All you will do in the future is drop your bags at check-in and walk into the departure lounge. No barriers.” By all means make airports easier. Just keep a human nearby for when the robots have a funny five minutes.
The views expressed in this column are not necessarily the views of the publisher.
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