Is there finally a solution to the age-old struggle of securing a sunbed? Plus, the latest social media sensation and the controversial statement that had us agreeing with the Ryanair boss.
Sunbed war tide may have turned
At long last, justice for the sleep‑deprived masses who’ve spent their holidays exhausted as they accepted the absurd ritual of setting an alarm for 5:59am, shuffling poolside in a semi-conscious haze, only to discover every sunbed is ‘occupied’ by a limp blue towel and no actual human within a three-mile radius.
So bravo to David Eggert, who didn’t just grumble into his breakfast buffet but took it all the way to court - and won. £850 back for a holiday spent circling for a lounger like a weary vulture. As he put it, all 400 loungers had towels on them while “the people were not actually using the loungers”.
Hotels have hidden behind this nonsense for years, pretending it’s an unsolvable mystery. It isn’t. Blow a horn, remove the towels, allocate beds properly - job done. Some resorts are already doing it, proving the rest simply couldn’t be bothered. Frankly, I hope this opens the floodgates.
Let’s have it: the great sunbed compensation boom. Today it’s one German pilot; tomorrow it’s class actions and claims firms. I await the inevitable adverts: “Have YOU been affected by sunbed anxiety? Call the Sunbed Advice Centre now.”
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Content creator cows?
Anything is content these days. And anyone can be a star. You probably hadn’t noticed but we are, it appears, living through the great Highland cow content boom. Peak Edge Hotel in the Peak District has said that “every time we share content featuring the Highland cows, we see a huge uplift in views… people absolutely love them.”
And yes, they probably do. A fringe, a bit of mud, a calf or two - job done. Marketing sorted. One reel on social media “attracted more than 11,300 views” and, we’re told, reached thousands who’d never heard of the hotel before. Which is pleasant enough, though perhaps not quite the cultural phenomenon the tone suggests.
Still, credit where it’s due: the hotel has found something people enjoy. Guests like spotting them, photographers like framing them, and the internet likes… anything vaguely fluffy. You suspect, however, that the cows haven’t noticed they’ve joined the marketing team. Whatever next?
Airport drinking culture
For once, the ever-cheerful Ryanair boss, Michael O’Leary has said something that doesn’t make me want to fling my boarding pass into the nearest bin. “Who needs to be drinking beer at five or six o’clock in the morning?” he asks. Quite. The answer, plainly, is far too many who shouldn’t be allowed within 30,000 feet of the rest of us.
The early airport pint has morphed from a harmless holiday ritual into competitive sport. Groups of lads, hen parties and the like are treating Gate 23 like it’s last orders in Magaluf. By the time they board the plane, they’re louder than the engines and twice as unpredictable. Cabin crew are there to keep people safe, not babysit staggeringly merry idiots who live in their own special world. Surely that’s not in their job description?
Limit the drinks, align airport bars with normal licensing hours, and restore a modicum of sanity and decency. Holidays should begin with excitement, not moronic behaviour by people who can’t handle their drink.
(The views expressed in this column are not necessarily the views of the publisher.)
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